Published on December 5, 2022

Why Is the Divorce Rate So High?

When it comes to divorce, there is no definitive answer in terms of percentage rates – due to the overwhelming range of variables that apply – but few would argue that the divorce rate is anything but high. The fact is that many marriages do end in divorce, and while every divorce is as unique as the marriage itself, there are some basic factors that tend to contribute. If you are considering divorce, are moving forward toward divorce, or have been served with divorce papers, it’s time to consult with an experienced Yakima divorce attorney.

Leaving Abusive Relationships

Abuse is a warning sign that the relationship in question – at its most basic level – is not working and could actually be dangerous. Abusers are generally prone to escalation and unpredictability, which puts their spouses at considerable risk. Abuse can take many forms, but if your spouse is physically abusive, seeking the help and support you need now is paramount – you can worry about divorce once you’ve safely extricated yourself and your children from the situation. Other forms abuse can take include:

Verbal abuse
Emotional abuse, including gaslighting
Financial control
Overall control
Isolation from friends and family

No one should have to live with abuse in their own home, and while getting out of an abusive relationship can be exceptionally difficult, help is available – reach out to a skilled divorce attorney who has the compassion and knowledge to help you explore the resources available to you.

Failure to Communicate

The backbone of every relationship is communication – whether you’re talking about your relationships with friends, family members, your children’s teachers, or with anyone else in your orbit. When it comes to a primary relationship such as marriage, however, clear and open communication is critical to not only keeping your household running but also maintaining a solid bond. An important longitudinal study on communication styles and divorce published by the National Library of Medicine in 2020 finds that, while communication styles play a foundational role in relationship science, we know very little about how this important process develops over time or how it applies to relationship outcomes. The upshot is that the way a married couple communicates early in their relationship is likely to endure, and certain communication styles are more predictive of divorce. This said, however, there are steps couples can take to learn healthier communication styles.

The Culture around Marriage and Divorce Has Changed

Divorce was once strictly taboo, but over time, this has changed significantly. Married couples in the past may have hung on for dear life in order to fit in, but the stigma associated with divorce has all but vanished, which levels the playing field considerably. Couples who are considering divorce have a wide range of concerns, but society’s opinion on the matter is very unlikely to be one of them.

Sexually Active Adults with Multiple Partners before Marriage Can Be Difficult for the Lifelong Partner

Couples today tend to marry later, which means that one or both spouses are more likely to have had multiple romantic partners, which can potentially make committing to a lifetime of monogamy more challenging. In other words, the landscape of marriage has changed considerably, and for some, the fact that a permanent commitment isn’t a good fit may not become apparent until after they’ve taken the plunge.

Pandemic Increased Mental Health Problems

The pandemic shook most of us to the core, and its effects continue to reverberate in myriad ways. Since that utter shock to our collective psyche, many are in more precarious positions in terms of their mental health. Emotional health can affect every facet of life, and marriage is no exception.

Financial Woes

Divorce and financial concerns often go hand in hand. Research suggests that money is a central concern in romantic relationships – usually from the very beginning. While couples generally don’t cite money as being their primary concern as frequently as other forms of marital conflict, all the following amplifying factors apply (as compared to non-money concerns):

Money conflicts tend to be more problematic.
Money conflicts tend to interfere with other areas of marital happiness and are more likely to be recurring.
Despite more consistent efforts to take care of money conflicts, they are more likely to remain unresolved.

When money is already a major issue, unexpected financial difficulties – like those experienced by many couples during the pandemic – can prove that much more challenging.

Getting Married Too Young

As mentioned, Americans – in general – are waiting longer to marry, but this does not stop those in their late teens and early twenties from marrying. Those in this delicate age group have a hard time understanding themselves – much less anyone else – and this can make building a satisfying, lifelong relationship with a significant other even more difficult. This said, many young married couples do go on to have long, happy marriages, but the strain of immaturity takes a serious toll on many others. The very young haven’t had the life experiences or even the time to get a handle on the primary issues that can make or break a marriage, including:

Handling money
Having and raising children
Running a home
Building a career
Addressing the challenges of daily life

This list could obviously go on and on. Some young couples find their way through the marriage journey together, while others come to realize that their vastly different approaches to primary matters are insurmountable.

Unrealistic Expectations

Marriage is a relationship like any other, and relationships take effort. While falling in love is easy – even magical – maintaining a thriving relationship in the face of everything that life throws our way is a very different matter. Couples who are able to manage their expectations in relation to what marriage is all about are far better prepared to stay the course, but those couples – or individuals – who buy into fairytale notions can be utterly disillusioned. Those who recognize that accepting the good with the not-so-great is half the battle are less likely to experience dashed hopes and dreams and to have the fortitude to proceed. Yes, marriage has a lot to offer, but all the following potential obstacles also need to be addressed:

Schedules that can leave you feeling like you’re tag-teaming your relationship – especially once kids come along
Marriage-related debt, such as a mortgage
The other spouse’s spending habits
Life’s inevitable stressors
The inevitable disagreements

Spouses who are looking for a rose garden will likely need to keep looking.

No-Fault Divorces

In the past, one spouse had to prove the other’s fault in order to obtain a divorce, which made the process more exacting. Now, every state in the nation has a no-fault option, and many states, including Washington, are strictly no-fault divorce states. In order to divorce, it’s only necessary for one of you to claim irreconcilable differences, which streamlines the process considerably. Further, if the at-fault spouse was the one interested in pursuing a divorce, the fact of their own wrongdoing, which could lead to costly divorce consequences, was more likely to hold them back in the past – in a way that is less true today. Now, anyone who wants a divorce can obtain one, and while the process can be lengthy, costly, and complicated, the matter of fault is very unlikely to gum up the works.

Divorce Rates are Inflated on the Media

It’s true that divorce has lost much of its social sting. In fact, some believe the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. The media likes to bandy about statistics and numbers, and it’s become part of popular lore that the divorce rate in America is 50 percent, which means that half of all marriages end in divorce, and this is simply not true. There is no way to put a hard and fast number on the percentage of marriages that end in divorce, but 50 percent is at the high end of things. This statistic, however, tends to taint marriage’s overall worth. If people are just as likely to divorce as to stay married, is the institution of marriage that meaningful to begin with? Some believe that the media’s casual relationship with actual divorce statistics in this country serves no purpose other than undermining marriage itself.

The Same People Keep Getting Divorced

The vast majority of people who marry take their commitment to one another very seriously, and most married couples remain married. Once an individual has already been divorced, however, the risk of divorcing again increases significantly. Factors that may contribute to this statistic include the following:

The repercussions of divorce proved less harrowing than previously expected.
The individual was poorly suited to marriage, to begin with.
The individual is always looking for the next best thing.
The individual enjoys falling in love but isn’t as interested in the work that comes after.

Whatever the reason, people with one divorce under their belt are more likely to become serial divorcers, which skews divorce statistics. It’s important to remember that, along the way, serial divorcers leave their exes divorced as well, which can further exacerbate the effect on the numbers.

Family History of Divorce

Studies indicate that those who grow up with divorced parents are more likely to divorce themselves, and when both spouses in a marriage come from divorced homes, the impact is even more pronounced. Children of divorce not only experience first-hand that the breakdown of a marriage hurts everyone involved but also recognize that it’s a survivable setback. This may translate to less interest in fighting to save a struggling marriage and to an outlook that is less averse to divorce – although this is obviously not always the case.

Social Media Making Couples Feel Incompatible

It would be remiss not to mention the role that social media plays in our lives and relationships, including marriages. Social media has a way of bringing people together, but it can also tear people apart.

The Effect of Curation

People post their lives on social media, but these posts are just glimpses into lives that are as full of highs and lows as everyone else’s. Further, many on social media go to great lengths to supply the world with a highly stylized vision of their lives that leaves anything negative out. As this becomes more normalized, it can leave those on the viewing end of things feeling dissatisfied – as if their own lives simply aren’t measuring up. After getting a bird’s eye view of how truly spectacular other people’s marriages are, it can leave you feeling like you’re missing out on something that is hard to define.

The Diluted Relationship

When one spouse posts about everything, including their marriage and innermost feelings, it can leave the other feeling left out – even superfluous. A marriage is a team effort, and when half the team gets what they need from online viewers, it can seriously dilute the intimacy that most people equate with marriage.

The Oops Factor

As our social media connections grow, our private lives become more public. You no longer have to be a celebrity for your personal life to be of major interest to people who don’t even know you. With all this interconnection, minor flirtations and other relatively harmless marital upsets are now more likely to be caught in social media’s harsh glare than to simply blow over the way they might have in the past.

Turn to an Experienced Yakima Divorce Attorney for the Help You Need

If you’re moving forward toward divorce, the trusted divorce attorneys at Dobbs & Young in Yakima recognize the challenges you face and have the experience and drive to help you obtain terms that support your best interests. Your case is important, so please don’t hesitate to contact or call us at 509-577-9177 for more information today.