Sneaky Divorce Tactics to Watch Out For
If you are facing a divorce, you have enough stress in your life and certainly don’t need any additional challenges heaped upon you. However, if your soon-to-be ex is engaging in sneaky practices, it can make your situation far more difficult, and this is not to mention that his or her sneakiness can directly affect your parental and financial rights. If your divorcing spouse is employing guerilla warfare tactics, you need a dedicated Yakima divorce attorney with extensive experience successfully combating such maneuvers in your corner.
First Things First
If your divorcing spouse is not on the up and up, it means that your
divorce case is far more likely to go to trial. In order to reach a settlement out of court, you both need to engage in negotiations that you enter into in good faith, and sneaky divorce tactics are a clear sign that your spouse is not interested in anything that has to do with good faith. While your spouse’s less-than-forthright actions don’t mean that your divorce has to end up in court, it’s an important point to keep in mind. Although going to court is generally more expensive and time-consuming – as well as emotionally taxing – it’s sometimes best to cut your losses and proceed to court. Your experienced divorce attorney will help you make this determination if and when the time comes.
Serving Papers with the Intention of Causing Pain
A common sneaky divorce tactic that is set in motion at the very start is
serving divorce papers with the intention of humiliating, embarrassing, or otherwise causing you pain. For example, if your spouse has you served in any of the following ways, pay careful attention because he or she is letting you know that more sneaky behaviors are very likely on the way:
- When you are in an important meeting at work
- When you are at a parent-teacher conference
- When you are enjoying what should be a happy family occasion
- When you are engaging in any other activity in which being served with divorce papers is absolutely inappropriate
If your spouse stoops to this level right out of the gate, he or she is intentionally trying to hurt you, and that is a terrible way to begin one of life’s most emotionally challenging experiences.
Clearing Out Your Home
Let’s say you’re on a business trip – or are simply away from home for a day or two – and you return to find that your spouse has cleared your home of everything but your personal belongings. Sure, there is a lot of work involved, and it’s a grand gesture, but you might be surprised by the lengths your sneaky spouse will go to in his or her zeal to
make you pay for whatever wrong he or she believes you’ve committed. If you come home to an empty house, don’t wait to reach out and discuss your best options with your seasoned divorce attorney. Other important steps you should take include being careful not to escalate the situation and capturing evidence of your spouse’s misdeed in the form of videos and photos – if your case is going to court (which it may be), you’ll want documentation.
Canceling Your Credit Cards
It is surprisingly easy for one spouse to cancel credit cards that both spouses share, and if you’re treating your mother to lunch only to have the credit card (that you use for absolutely everything) be declined, it can be as embarrassing as it is disheartening. The fact of the matter is that, even though there are standing orders in place against engaging in such practices while a divorce is pending, your divorcing spouse – if he or she chooses to make your life as difficult as possible – can do some serious damage.
Emptying Your Joint Accounts
It’s one thing to have your credit cards canceled, but if the bank account or accounts that finance you and your children’s daily life are suddenly empty, it can leave you in a state of panic. This effect can be compounded if your spouse is the primary breadwinner in your family (if you stay home with the kids, for example) and you have no means of supporting yourself in the present. The first order of business in such a situation is turning to your knowledgeable divorce attorney to seek the legal recourse you need. Further, it’s important to remember that this kind of behavior is sure to reflect badly on your spouse when your case does go before a judge, which – at this point – it is very likely to do. When your spouse shows you exactly how devious he or she can be, it’s important to believe him or her.
Refusing to Pay the Bills
If your spouse is the one with a paycheck, and he or she moves out and quits paying the bills associated with your family home, you’re going to feel the sting. There are virtually no limits to the financial antics that your spouse can get up to if he or she puts his or her mind to it, and the effects can be devastating. Divorcing spouses sometimes pile financial hurt on top of financial hurt in the hope of starving their partners out – to the point that they are willing to accept a settlement that is less than fair. Don’t succumb to your spouse’s maneuvers – your compassionate divorce attorney will help you obtain the temporary financial terms you need to help you stay the course until you can obtain a divorce that protects both your parental and financial rights.
Refusing to Communicate
Divorce is emotionally draining, and open communication can be both painful and difficult, but it is also necessary. After all, you have all the following to contend with:
- Determining how you’re going to divide your time with the kids while the divorce is pending
- Scheduling the kids’ activities and addressing school requirements
- Figuring out your interim finances
- Taking care of the business of daily living
This list could go on and on. If your spouse simply refuses to communicate with you, it can be a surprisingly effective tool and can leave you at a total loss regarding how best to proceed. Spouses who engage in this kind of petty behavior demonstrate an utter lack of respect for their partners and a total disregard for the family as a unit, and they often end up putting the kids in the middle (as go-betweens). The best policy is to make a conscious effort not to communicate through your children and to text and/or email your divorcing spouse the information he or she needs to know (and to request the information that you need to know). Although your requests are likely to fall on deaf ears, your texts and emails will serve as a record of your good-faith attempts at communication.
Taking the Kids
If your spouse takes the kids out of town without discussing it with you, it can be terrifying – especially if your spouse is attempting to frighten you. Divorce is difficult enough, but if your spouse stoops to unsavory practices that involve your children, it takes things to a whole new level. If your spouse’s actions are a stunt (and you recognize them as such), it’s important to know that it could affect how custody plays out in your divorce case. Judges don’t take kindly to this kind of juvenile behavior – especially when children are involved – and such actions reflect poorly on your spouse’s ability to parent effectively. If, on the other hand, you are genuinely afraid that your spouse may be attempting to keep your children from you, it’s time to alert the authorities.
Filing False Accusations
Some divorcing spouses will sink as low as filing false accusations of child abuse or domestic abuse in their efforts to
win. Such tactics are generally fairly transparent, but that doesn’t mean they can’t also be incredibly damaging. Abuse allegations that spring from nowhere – in the middle of a divorce – are suspicious, to begin with, but you should take the matter seriously by consulting with your dedicated divorce attorney (and by recognizing that your spouse has no limits when it comes to sneaky divorce tactics).
Spreading False Rumors
Another scorched earth approach is spreading ugly rumors about you in an attempt to harm your relationships or even your employment. Any attempts you make to right the wrong your spouse has perpetrated can feel like protesting too much (and thus serving to bolster the rumor). The best practice is to hold your head high and ignore your spouse’s shenanigans. Your relationships are based on who you really are and will withstand the test of time, and employers understand that some unscrupulous types resort to extremely bad behavior in the course of divorce and will chalk your spouse’s rantings up to this.
A Note About Social Media
One of the easiest and most effective ways to spread false information is on social media, and your spouse may turn to this well-used tool to perpetrate his or her own dirty work. You may even be very tempted to retaliate, but you should resist the urge. Defending your honor on social media is not going to do you any favors, and you’re far more likely to simply stir up more drama (drama that you don’t need).
Hiding Assets
On the other hand, your spouse may give you no reason whatsoever to think that he or she is engaging in dirty dealings but could be hiding, gifting, giving away, spending down, or otherwise artificially lowering your marital assets (in the build-up to divorce and/or while your divorce is processing). Such tactics can be among the most damaging because they directly affect your financial rights, and they can be difficult to spot and prove.
The Division of Your Marital Property
In Washington, those assets that you and your spouse acquired together as a married couple are identified as marital property, and in the event of a divorce, they are meant to be divided equally between you. If, however, your spouse is engaged in the business of hiding assets, it makes fighting for your fair share that much more challenging.
Complicating Factors
Several factors that make it easier for a spouse to hide – or otherwise confuse the issue of – marital assets include the following:
- If your spouse has more control over the finances than you do (or takes care of all the finances)
- If you own a business
- If you have high assets generally
- If your marital property is entangled with separate property
- If you own multiple properties
If you are concerned that your spouse is being less than forthcoming regarding your jointly-owned assets and finances, you need to bring the matter up to your skilled divorce attorney sooner rather than later.
An Experienced Yakima Divorce Attorney Can Help
If your divorcing spouse is engaging in sneaky divorce tactics, it not only adds insult to injury but can also directly affect your financial and parental rights. If you find yourself in this situation, you don’t have to sit back and take it – the practiced divorce attorneys at Dobbs & Young in Yakima, Washington, have seen it all and have the experience, keen insight, and legal savvy to cut to the heart of the matter – in pursuit of fair divorce terms that work for you. We’re on your side, so please don’t wait to reach out and contact or call us at 509-577-9177 for more information today.
